Can't Win for Losing
by Roxotaku
Summary: Written for Inucomedyclub on LJ and tied for second place. Prompt was "Race." Shippo wants to be the first to see Kagome when she comes back instead of InuYasha. So he hatches a plan with Miroku to beat InuYasha at a race! Hilarity ensues when they race.


Disclaimer: InuYasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and I make no money from this farce.

Can't Win for Losing

A rather bored looking group was sitting in front of Kaede's hut. InuYasha was cross legged, hands in sleeves. Miroku gripped his staff and watched Sango clean and sharpen Hiraikotsu, with kami knows what running through his mind. Shippo was lackadaisically playing with a top, which Kirara would bat at and stop.

"Shouldn't Kagome be coming back soon?" Shippo whined.

"Stop whining runt," InuYasha said. "She said she should be back later today."

"And you are always the first one to see her!" Shippo retorted. "Not fair InuYasha, you also get first pick at the snacks she brings back!"

Miroku had been listening to their conversation, and put his hand to his chin thoughtfully.

"Keh, I'm faster than you and everyone else," InuYasha said. "So I'll always get to Kagome first."

Shippo gave InuYasha a dirty look and sulked. Then he looked thoughtful, tapping the end of his nose with a small finger.

"You think you will always win?" Shippo shot back. "I'll race you to the well when it is time to get Kagome!"

InuYasha laughed, in fact he laughed to hard he fell over. The kitsune stood fuming with his arms crossed, waiting for him to stop. Finally he subsided, lying on the ground on his back.

"I'm serious," Shippo said. "You going to race me or what?"

"You're on runt!" InuYasha said. "This is just stupid, but I'm bored but I'll humor you. But we have a few hours yet."

The day wore on, and InuYasha fell asleep out of boredom. This was the moment Shippo had been waiting for. He jumped up and went to find Miroku. Whispering his plans in the monk's ear, a slow sly smile crept over Miroku's face.

"You sure about this Shippo?" Miroku said. "He might clobber you."

"Just let him try with Kagome around," Shippo said confidently.

As InuYasha lay snoring, Shippo crept up to him, using all the kitsune stealth he could muster. Behind InuYasha, Miroku was making his own cautious approach. They glanced up at each other and Miroku nodded.

"Wake up InuYasha, time for our race!" Shippo yelled in his ear.

Miroku was just fast enough to whip out a sutra and slap it over InuYasha's eyes as he woke. The hanyou's ears pricked forward and he sat up quickly.

"What the hell is going on?" InuYasha growled. "Everything is dark, why can't I see?"

"Since we know you would beat Shippo in a race if you had all your senses," Miroku said. "We decided to even things out by taking one away."

Jumping to his feet, InuYasha snarled and clenched his fists. Both Miroku and Shippo leaped away. He could hear them, but not see them. So he concentrated on trying to free his eyes. Futilely he tried to pull the sutra off for a few minutes, but had to give up, fuming.

"I don't need eyes to beat you runt," InuYasha said. "Just count off Miroku – and don't think I won't find a way to get you for this!"

"Ready, set, go!"

The race for the well began. InuYasha started off in the lead, but soon landed in a ditch, scaring the poor villagers working there near to death. Shippo crowed and pulled ahead. In case the hanyou tried to win by following his chosen path and overtaking him, Shippo zig zagged through the forest. The idea worked.

WHACK!

"Feh!"

InuYasha kept hitting trees and was down….again….and again.

Finally they came to the clearing and the well. And just in time! Shippo saw Kagome climbing out of the well, and looking around wondering where everyone was. The hanyou was still behind him – Shippo was going to win!

"Kagome!" Shippo cried, and took a jump to land in her startled arms.

The miko held him and looked into his broadly grinning face, baffled. She opened her mouth to speak, but did not get to say anything.

"Oh, no you don't!" InuYasha roared.

"EEEK!" Kagome squeaked in shock.

The hanyou, his hair a wild, tangled mess of shrubbery and dirt, with a muddy and scratched face and the sutra over his eyes crashed into them. The force and trajectory caused all three to fall back in to the well.

A blue light glowed…and a lone kitsune was left at the bottom of the well.

"Damn, and the snacks went back with them too!" Shippo pouted. "I can't win for losing…"


End file.
